masturbatory accoutrements

A pretentious expression used to describe one's personal collection of items used to enhance masturbation. (Dirty magazines, dildoes, lubricant etc.)

A way of describing an unenthusiastic sexual partner.
Also can be used to describe how one felt during sexual relations with an untalented or selfish partner.

Once I've retrieved my collection of masturbatory accoutrements, I shall commence with the jerking of my jizzer.

We were sleeping together, but she always just laid there. She was more like a masturbatory accoutrement than a fuck buddy.

All he wanted to do was get off and then leave. For all the pleasure I got out of it, I felt more like a masturbatory accoutrement than someone who'd just gotten laid.

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