meat loafers

What a devout vegan sees when she spots your leather shoes.

She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.

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wear my meat loafers

have a craving for meat, inspired by the meat loaf scene with Will Ferrel in Wedding Crashers

Let's go for lunch! I wear my meat loafers today.