microphobe

Someone who is afraid of irregularly small midgets who have germs.

Val Kilmer is a microphobe because he contracted VD from a surprisingly attractive cast member in that Willow movie.

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microphobation

Adam Lambert's mastrubating the stand-up microphone during "Whole Lotta Love" on American Idol #8 tour. Causes dizziness, group fantasies, and loud outbursts of shrieking.

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