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When you wake up and just cant keep your eyes open for more than five seconds, plus your vision is crappy, your eyes are sore when you open them.
Mom: "GET UP, BLAH BLAH BLAHHHH!!!! SCHOOLL!!!! BLAHH BLAHH BLAHH!!!"
Kid: "These stupid morning eyes are keeping my eyes closed! Morning eyes SUCK!"
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A breakfast muffin made with prunes and coffee grounds baked in, for lots and lots of extra fiber and caffeine. Guaranteed to wake you up, give you plenty of extra morning energy - and go through your entire digestive tract like a Vesuvius of wire brushes!
My wife and I had an argument, so she served me a Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin with my breakfast; and, by the time I got to work, I almost had to stick my thumb up in my butthole, to keep from crapping all over myself as I ran to the nearest restroom!