muddy teapot

When you defecate into a teapot while tea or coffee is brewing, with the express purpose of tricking someone into learning what your poop tastes like. Often accompanied by a nursery rhyme of the same name.

Woman A: I’m a muddy teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout, “I’m full of shit, kids!”

Woman B: What are you doing squatting on my stovetop?

Woman A: Your stove’s burners are burning my feet. I’m suing you now.

Woman B: This will financially ruin me. I need some freshly-brewed tea to help me relax.

Woman A: *grins*