Naughty sausage

A cigarette, you dirty-minded scum.

Dudebro #1: I’m gonna step outside for a naughty sausage. Wanna come?
Dudebro #2: Huh? I mean, more power to you, but I’m not gay.
Dudebro #1: A smoke, you sick little monkey. You are no longer invited.

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Naughty Sausage

The name given to your significant other's penis when it won't get hard while you're trying to have sex.

"Honey, is your penis going to be a naughty sausage agian tonight."