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The most commonly broken promise in the world.
My head feels like fuck, I've spent all morning puking, and that slut gave me something itchy, I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.
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A commonly used phrase by people who drink and wake up the next morning with a hangover and a feeling of regret from all the stupid things you said/did the night before.
Bob: Dude I drank waaay too much and now I've got a headache and I made a total ass out of myself last night
Dan: No shit dude, I'm never drinking again
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A LIE we tell ourselves after drinking too much and suffering through a hangover in the futile hope that one will never again suffer the hangover. It is also an indication that events proceeding the hangover consisted of many things awesome that came from what sober people would consider a bad idea. In all cases this statement is a lie, as the person will undoubtedly drink again.
Guy 1: I'm never drinking again
Guy 2: Shut up, you'll feel better after you eat breakfast.
Guy 1: Okay, what's for breakfast?
Guy 2: Eggo waffles and beer, we ran out of syrup so here's some more beer.
Guy 1: ...fuck
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I say this every time I suffer a hangover or regret some things I did/said the night before, but when I say this I'm a fuckin' liar lol.
Person 1: I'm never drinking again
Person 2: Famous last words
Person 1: No, honest! This is the worst hangover I have ever suffered and apparently I had some gay sex with another man and I'm straight
Person 2: I know what will cure your hangover!
Person 1: And what's that?
Person 2: Another beer
Person 1: Has PTSD over seeing the beer in his hand