Nipple beans

Evidence of domestication throughout Turkey circa 9500 bc led to a traditional incorporation of this versatile legume into middle eastern culture as a culinary staple.

Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.

This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.

To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.

Moe-G: I can’t stand nipple beans in my casserole!

Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?

Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.

Nipple Beans

Evidence of domestication throughout Turkey circa 9500 bc led to a traditional incorporation of this versatile legume into middle eastern culture as a culinary staple.

Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.

This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.

To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.

Moe-G: I can’t stand nipple beans in my casserole!

Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?

Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.