Nostriliser

These nose hair clipper machines used to trim your nose hairs back

Tony: "Oh cheesus christ I keep forgetting to tie my nostril hairs up bvefore i take a sip of my coffee and now my nostril hairs have crusted up from the dried out milk"

Tony's 18th wife: "I admire how you can put up with something so disgustingly annoying like that. Have you tried one of those nostriliser machines before? I've heard they also improve genital hydration and appearance of size"

Tony: I'm going to the shop!