old fart alumni

You roll over, and who else could it be? It’s the alumnus who has a job, a steady flow of cash, and a crew of subordinates to do his work while he takes a long weekend to visit the frat castle once a week. Apparently everything this alumnus learned about raising hell during his undergrad years was erased while he brownnosed his way up the corporate ladder. He took the generic “walk in the way of honor” part of the of the creed a little too seriously, and now he feels like his wealth of knowledge about how he thinks the world actually works will be applicable to a bunch of adolescents determined to drink and fuck like it is going out of style. He’ll come by for a tailgate or big party once a semester just to take a look around and be somewhat disturbed by all the same things he used to do when he was 20 years old. “Guys I’m not trying to be a buzzkill, but…” will be heard a couple of times, followed by how your behavior could ultimately get your charter pulled from the wall. Whenever there is some sort of “brotherhood event,” he will be there to make sure everything runs the way it did back when he was pledging. Oh, there’s a committee meeting tonight? You can always count on this local alumnus to make an appearance because, frankly, he doesn’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday night. All in all, this guy is just the genetically altered mutant-freak version of a super senior.

old fart alumni...