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It means that even though capitalism is corrupt, your little brother loves you, looks up to you, respects you, and appreciates your handsomeness, knowledge, wisdom, and experience with navigating this complex world.
The night that I called Denny's to find your missing pancake dinner that never showed up (or that did show up and got taken by your friend and your ex), Denny's customer service was so corrupt, they hung up the phone on me rather than trying to make it right. Sir... They said before they hung up. (Have you noticed that sir always precedes an insult these days? Alec's pronouns are sir btw and I think it's such a clever joke.)
I remember having a chonchlate chip cookie for dinner myself that night, while waiting for your pancakes to arrive. I remember trying to order the perfect chonchlate chip pancakes by phone, with 3x extra chonchlate chips because they never put enough, and when I was standing in front of the Abercrombie & Fitch, trying to order, the Denny's agent hung up the phone and made me try my best on my own, using the website. I noticed that you know a lot about restaurants and about capitalism, about what works in capitalism's factory-like processes and what doesn't work, about how to be true to yourself and ask for what you really want and push hard and advocate for something even if capitalism says that it doesn't exist or isn't possible.
Pancake dinner! CHONCHLATE CHIP PANCAKES, two eggs, poached, on wheat bread (toast), chonchlate milkshake, and a soda, Pepsi or Coke, should be no more than z16s.
I wondered and still wonder if Hollywood movie sets can be corrupt like that too. It's so important, in dangerous cities like Los Angeles and Las Vegas, to have a real bond of trust, to know that something is real, that someone will actually be there for you both when the fancy lights and sounds take over the cityscape and when the lights and sounds turn off.
One day later, two days later, when we were still looking for the pancake dinner that never arrived, I felt grateful for the experience of looking for it with you. I felt grateful for the experience of meeting a true companion who makes the sometimes cruel, cold, and confusing cityscapes of Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Honolulu seem so much warmer, friendlier, and inviting.
Some people in Hollywood, classically, believe in reincarnation. That was one of the first convos I had with you this October, when I said I wanted to fulfill promises I made to you in a past life. What if we were both movie stars in the 1950s, working for Twentieth Century Fox Studios, scared of becoming victims of a McCarthyist Congressional hearing (that means being accused of being Communists), or scared of otherwise being chewed up and spit out by the film and television industry?
Pancake dinner part 2. CHONCHLATE CHIP PANCAKES, two eggs, poached, on wheat bread (toast), chonchlate milkshake, and a soda, Pepsi or Coke, should be no more than z16s.
Alone together on a Saturday or Sunday night, during a quiet moment by the pool, we may have shared a pancake dinner together, or practiced ordering another pancake dinner that would actually never come -- from Denny's, if Denny's existed back then, or from our favorite seedy restaurant in Reseda or Van Nuys.
We may have waited for our perfect pancake dinner for hours, may have watched capitalism's slow, factory corruption in slow motion, and may have made promises of love and loyalty to each other so severe that here we are again, in the next life, enjoying pancake dinner together again. 🥞
Pancake dinner, big brother. Don't worry -- little brother is on the way to save the day. Tonight, tomorrow, and always.
(if you like this writing style, you're going to love the book of bisexual men's short stories, The Stories of John Cheever, when that part of your 39th birthday present arrives late ^_^)
Pancake dinner part 3. CHONCHLATE CHIP PANCAKES, two eggs, poached, on wheat bread (toast), chonchlate milkshake, and a soda, Pepsi or Coke, should be no more than z16s.