parasitic groping pretzel tree

: an exceptionally advanced cuddling position involving two persons and a spectator. The first person involved, lying on their back, must have one leg between the other person’s legs, wrapping their remaining leg--the far outside leg--around the three already intertwined. The second participant tightly wraps their torso on top of first person’s side, while snuggling their head into the décolletage or chest area. The first person’s arms are generally stretched around the second person’s waist and back, firmly supporting their contorted position and clutching them as closely as possible; and, the second person’s arms are up-stretched and wound around the chest and neck area of the first person. Ideally, the second person in this position should have minimal contact with the bed—a hip at most. This position is generally most effective in the dark where the role of the spectator is to remain to the side, burning with curiosity.

B: What's going on over there?

C: We're having a parasitic groping pretzel tree.

A: *muffled chuckling*

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