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phantom jerk

The act of masturbating an invisible penis with your hand in an effort to either piss people off or make them laugh depending on the situation.

This drunk asshole started shit with this waiter at Denny's the other night and when his friends started dragging him out he kept yelling at the poor guy. My friend Dan thought he was a dick like me so he started doing the phantom jerk. His girlfriend thought it was hilarious but he got pissed at us. When the asshole asked what our problem was Dan just did a toothy grin and said "problem?"

by Bassnium.exe October 29, 2011

1👍 2👎


phantom jerk

When a man, whose penis is locked in a chastity cage, places a dildo at the place where usually his hard penis would be, and strokes the dildo, tricking the brain into thinking that he's stroking his penis, thus triggering an ejaculation. Similar to how a crippled person would scratch a lost limb.

"Hey, how is your time in chastity going?"-
"Very frustrating, but I've almost mastered the phantom jerk."

by ElzearYoung December 7, 2023