phenomenal dick

phe·nom·e·nal (dick)
1. The man or men, and in most cases married themselves, that bang your wife in a hotel that they allow her to pay for because they are too cheap and arrogant to pick up the bill, and then mostly spend their money on trips to Europe. Most often occurs when you are at work earning a living to pay the bills, or are at home taking care of the kids. After nailing her for two years or so, then tells people he has no emotional ties to her what-so-ever!

Ralph; Hey Jim! Look over there, remember that guy David, the one we call DJB, he is such a phenomenal dick!

Jim; Yeah, what a waste of perfectly good oxygen! Who's the gullible whore he's at lunch with today?

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Eat a phenomenal dick

When you use the “fuck around and find out” approach to R&D and end up accidentally reinventing the wheel, literally and/or metaphorically.

The emotional comedown after you’ve realised your stupidity is best described to feel like “eating a phenomenal bag of dicks” or for short, “eating phenomenal dick”.

The phrase relates to and is sprung out of the insulting phrase “eat a bag of dicks”, but is more general and can be applied to others, oneself, and concepts.

Andrew: did you see that Peter invented a bike that has square wheels with tank treads?
Moss: yeah, it actually goes pretty fast, but you eat a phenomenal dick when you start to slow down.

Andrew: yeah, the whole concept eats phenomenal dick.