pitch a trouser tent

to sport a woody that is second to none;
the hardest, stiffest penile erection on the face of the planet; to pack more wood in one's trousers than a lumber yard; a raging hard on that sports more veins than an 80-yea-old woman's hamhocks.

When I saw her crunchy frogs and curvaceous can, Willy The One Eyed Wonder Worm pitched quite the trouser tent!

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