plum distress

An injury to the testicular region, resulting in short or longer term damage to the plums, including general soreness, swelling, lacerations, or even sufficient injury to require surgery.

Example 1:
Some dude at the nude beach got his balls stuck between the slats on the beach chair. They had to cut the slats away, and he suffered a serious case of plum distress as a result.

Example 2:
Justin: I was doing a jump on my BMX bike. The seat cracked when I landed, and my gear caught up in it. I had to have an operation downstairs to get the damage fixed up.
Ed: Wow!!
Richard: Plum distress.