Polyester Shirt

Polyester shirts are thin and tight, and can outline the strongest abs to the roundest belly. Polyester shirts are cheap, and can be cut with kindergarten paper scissors. These shirts are worn by people confident enough to show their bodies in public.

Passerby 1: Look at that fat kid sitting at that lunch table. He’s wearing a polyester shirt!
Passerby 2: What an idiot. You can see his belly button and his love handles.
Fat Kid: *thinks to himself* Wow, I was right. So many people are looking at me! I love it!

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