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Potamus- That girl that you took one for the team for, back in high school before you took off your training wheels; you know a lil old “nail the whale”. They are also notoriously known as savage individuals whose only concern is to consume large amounts of semen into any orifice on their body. They are always that “thing” that stares at you like you’re an appetizer and insists on talking to you at the bar and making awkward sexual advances towards you. Sometimes Potamuses travel in small packs consisting of 3-4, they hope to increase their odds of mating with attractive men in the NAVY such as myself. They are extremely dangerous exercise caution as needed.. They can also play defense for attractive females at the bar, especially when it is near last call for alcohol; every man’s mad dash for take home pussy might be thwarted by a vindictive potamus. Be warned, and stay thirsty my friends!
Example: See Cockblocker:
Man- Hi there, my names Tom!
Attractive female- Oh hello, im Sta( interrupted buy loud potamus shriek; sounds like an angry wildabeast/ape grunt thing).
Man- Throws a dog treat to get rid of potamus.
Attractive female: anyways I need a ride home.
Man: Score! Man one potamus none!
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1. An awkward animal that doesn't cope with society because no one likes it and is loathed EVEN by the platypus, God's last creation when he was slacking near the end of the seven days.
2. Def not a hippopotamus (dumb conclusion)
3. Something you can call someone who just embarrassed themselves in a group of 3 or more people
1.
Dude 1: "yo you alright brah?"
Dude 2: yea man, I saw a potamus walk across the road. I hit it cause I did it and the world a favor."
Dude 1: "you are a god among pota...what's potamus in plural form?"
Dude 2: "Potamins...idiot."
2.
Girl 1: "Who told you a potamus has ANYTHING to do with a hippopotamus? just cause it's part of the word doesn't mean it's related."
Girl 2: "what's a potamus?"
Girl 1: "...your mom's a potamus."
3.
Bro 1: "Awww broseph you missed it!"
Bro 2: "What went down? My speakers go up to 11 so I couldn't here shit."
Bro 1: "That girl just made a total potamus of herself in front of her own RAs by telling them that she doesn't even go here."
Bro 2: "wow...what a potamus."
Bro 1: "I like potamu...potamettes."
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Added to the end of a word in a sentence to aware listeners about your obsession of hippopotamuses.
Another use of potamus is by itself as a word for the person you are talking to.
Give me a pencilpotamus.
Get out of my house, potamus.
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A person of larger stature, whom may be of either sex, that bitches and complains all the time. People of that fall into this catagory usually smell of crotch cheese.
Damn.. she bitching again?? what a snarfa-potamus. Stinky snarfa-potamus go wash your vagina!!
A sex act involving two men and a woman. During double-anal penetration (both men putting their "Peter" in her "Potamus"), the woman starts a low howl; she is then joined by both men as their vocalizations evolve into a Hippo Hurricane Holler, which lasts either until both men ejaculate inside her or the three start laughing so much as to make sex impracticable.
Based on the cartoon character Peter Potamus, inspired by a misheard lyric from "3," the Britney Spears song about guy-guy-girl sex -- instead of "One, two, three / Peter, Paul & Mary," the listener heard "One, two, three / Peter Potamus me."
Dude: Bro, what happened last night?
Bro: Dude, I can't believe you don't remember! You and I righteously peter potamused that chick from the party.
Dude: Awesome, bro! Did we make it through, or break up laughing again?
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A half balding, neurotic cat who licks her own fur off and sits in provocative poses.
Man, that cat's so crazy she's almost a squatch-a-potamus!
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