premeditated infirmary

The act of pretending to have symptoms of illness at work (i.e. excessive coughing, pretending to vomit) in an effort to convince everyone that you are really sick. This way when you play hookie on the monday after your weekend drinking binge your co-workers will believe that your calling-in-sick is legitimate.

Man #1: "Man, Ken sure is coughing a lot, and makes a point that everyone can hear it."
Man #2: "Yeah, but listen to how fake that obviously is...he's practicing premeditated infirmary..."
Man #1: "Yeah I thought it sounded fake, what tool"

*THAT MONDAY*

Man #1: "I see Kenny didn't come to work today"
Man #2: "Douchebag...."

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