pretzel fart

A fart so dry and painful it feels like a pretzel stick.
Or, a person so stupid, there's nothing else to call them.

As Jimmy lifted a cheek to pass wind, his face froze, and then he screamed in anguish at what we call a pretzel fart.
After shoving a broom handle up his ass and running head first into a stop sign, Sam's friends could do nothing but look on and call him a damned pretzel fart.

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