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A niche one-person sex machine that distinctly resembles an old fashioned printing press.
There is a mechanical dildo which is inserted in a locomotive fashion into the vagina, anus or other orifice of the receiver. Simultaneously, there are paint rollers that move back and forth over the breasts or pectoral muscles of the subject and they are then lowered onto the paper where the ink/paint transfers to the paper. The printing on the paper happens in a 1 to 2 ratio - once for every two insertions of the dildo.
"I spent 15 minutes on the printing press last night....best orgasms I have ever had!"
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This sex act requires that you abduct three little girls and strip them naked in your basement. You must then break their knees with a sledgehammer, toss the girls aside, create a mixture of laxatives and your bodily fluids (especially cum and vomit), and let it blend for ten minutes. During these ten minutes, you are to stand a few meters from your desired girl, charge towards her, ram your cock (you can use a spiked dildo, albeit not necessary) up her ass (cunts and mouths are acceptable), and repeat for each girl until the blending finishes. Feed one of the girls your concoction and, with a staple gun, connect the girls' mouths to each other's asses so that they form an endless human centipede. After some time, collect some of their shit and use it to spell out a phrase of your choice. Smear the shit on their faces afterwards and beat off on their backs and faces.
Vomit on a printing press for bonus points.
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A dirty sex position which involves shoving dollar bills into the vagina
Bro, i totally printing pressed her last night
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A sexual position involving three people, two females and one man. The females are bound together in such a way that their pubic regions are pressed together. The binding harkens back to the original of Australia as a prison colony. Then the male inserts his genetalia in-between the compressed pubic regions of the two females. The genetalia is said to resemble paper coming out of a print press between the women.
Bob and Mary got that sluzza they met at the pub in a good, old fashioned Australian print press, the lucky bloke.
When a fatass can't wipe his ass due to his ass cheeks being so big so he spreads his ass enough to fit some toilet paper in there and like a print press closes his ass to press the shit on the paper.
My doctor said I'm on the road to obesity, I don't want to be operating a Toilet Printing Press anytime soon
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