Pumping Off

to masturbate furiously without consideration of where or when

Martha: ED! I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D BE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUMPING OFF!
Ed: You can stay, but I'm finishing this.

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pump off

The act of pumping one's penis full of air. Normally done with a bicycle pump.

That pump off last night was intense. Though now i've got the dick winds.

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pumpernickel pump-off

Pumping off using two warm slices of buttered pumpernickel bread.

"Dude, I was in the bakery yesterday, and I had the best pumpernickel pump-off ever!"

"Just got home from the grocery store with my girl. You guys know what time it is? It's time for a pumpernickel pump-off!"

"Spending the night alone...guess it's time to make a pumpernickel pump-off."

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Jerking-Off Pumped

When something is so exciting, so completely enthralling that you are nearly dying of the anticipation. In fact, the excitement is so great that it is equivalent to the feeling of jerking off. As such, you are completely pumped by the idea of doing something on par with masturbating.

Bill-"Wait, we're killing a 30 case right after the concert featuring our favorite band of all time!?"

Frank-"Hell yeah man get excited!"

Bill-"That's gonna be the best day ever! I'm Jerking-Off Pumped about the whole situation!"

Frank-"You read my mind!"