Read the Paper

A euphemism for the action 'to chunder' or 'to vomit' due to the influence of alcohol or drugs.

'Mate where did Jimmy go last night? He was plastered..'
'Went to read the paper...'
'Did he read it thoroughly?'
'Front to back mate'

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read the paper motherfucker

An action performed by springtrap in Five Nights At Fuckboys 3.

S.Trap(In British accent) : Read the paper motherfucker

Reading the Paper

A phrase used to nonchalantly tell someone that you are smoking marijuana. The phrase brings with it a large number of puns that can be quite humerus.

Friend: (Calls you on the phone) Hey man, what are you doing?

You: I'm just sitting around 'reading the paper'!

Friend: Sweet, so I guess you got the 'news'!

You: Totally got the 'news'!

Read the paper

What you should do when you know regular media ( except radio and newspapers) will drive you off the rails

Don't listen to fox News or CNN, go read the paper.