Rectalfy

Pronounced, rectal-fi. Meaning, to remedy a situation or problem by pulling the person(s) head out of their ass, thus seeing a clear picture of the remedy.

Hey Jim, I'm having a difficult time downloading the payroll information for our employes onto my computer!" "Oh hey boss, let me rectalfy the situation for you and plug your computer in!"

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Rectalfy

To attempt to correct a negative situation, or a fight by sticking a booted foot or some other equally large or cumbersome object up the offending persons anal cavity.

Me: You better calm the fuck down before I use this size 10 to rectalfy the situation!
Asshole: Rectalfy...? WTF is that..?
Me: You see this boot, lets just say you don't want to know where it's going to end up...