red hat cult

The Evil empire founded by Sue Ellen Cooper takes control of older ladies minds by promising them a full life but instead give them cultish red hats. They prance around town in purple moo moo's and red hats. They are known to trample poor unsuspecting people at department stores during sales in their drunken stupor. They are also so into their cult they try to top each other by seeking "red hat" paraphernalia. Red hat shoes, red hat earing, glasses, hair pins, clothes pins, and even red hat underwear. The one that is chosen to be the :"top red hatter" is then sacrificed to their female god SUE ELLEN COOPER or known by her followers SULENPER. Which translates into Evil Goddess of Pain and torture. The sacrifice takes place in a run down building in Kansas City Kansas, their the "women" build a bon fire and dance around it spitting blood and chanting "Red Women we live forever long live SULENPER." Please if you see any of these ladies and trust me you will, turn and run the other way.

Jerry was running into the department store to catch a good deal on the clearance days when a pack of the red hat cult ran over him trampling him under their red hat shoes.

41👍 26👎