Royal Oak

Where bougie meets alcoholism. While royal joke is a quaint "family town" by day it moonlights as a the DUI capital of Michigan. Specializes in dumb shit like having a 'Royal Oak-Beverly Hills' and racist teens.

Seth: "Yo dude you wanna hit downtown Royal Oak?"
Brandon: "Hell yeah bro! Fifth Ave!?"

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Royal Oak

An inner-ring city bordering Detroit MI where affluent, majority white, young-ish and Boomer-aged families reside and congregate in the "Downtown," which resembles an upscale hospital food court.

Many of its residents will visit another inner-ring city, Ferndale, which is the gay equivalent and slightly less racist, with the intent to gain cred by claiming to have visited Detroit over the weekend.

Royal Oak is, in essence, a county psychiatric ward's worth of imbedded trauma, but completely saturated in Botox. The city's main potential, however, is that it will one day become Southern California but in the sense that it's actually Datona.

When I retire, I want to move to Royal Oak so that I can relax and finally use slurs in public but call it refinement.

royal oak

Our water sucks, our kids are fat, our schools are poor, and our winters suck, come visit royal oak to get high with some middle school kids and talk aboot hockey.

"the party's in royal oak? thats greasy."

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sew my royal oaks

To travel abroad and draw ones name in the sand

I need to leave to sew my royal oaks, not blow anyone’s back out.

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