sackstache

Testicular hair. Often a source of pride for Millennials unable to achieve a proper ironic mustache.

Hipster A: Bro, how are we supposed to get into this uber-popular "unknown" brunch establishment with that pathetic looking peach-fuzz on your upper lip?
Hipster B: No problem, my dark-skinned-friend, I am going to flash the hostess this mad sackstache I've been cultivating. She's going to be super impressed and we'll be sipping mimosas well into the evening.