saddle sniffer

A person (most likely a man) who gets sexual gratification from sniffing bicycle saddles. They sniff the material and imagine a woman sitting on it only moments before and hope they can smell some vaginal juices.
(Yes, there are people out there who do this...)

Gary sniffed the bicycle seat, taking in the coolness and feel of the leather. This was all he could smell, but he knew the lovely Laura had been riding it all morning, and for a second, he thought he could detect the slightest arouma of fresh twat... then he realised he had only imagined it... the sick fucking saddle sniffer.

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saddle sniffer

A gentleman whose particular perversion is inhaling the aroma of a lady’s bicycle saddle.

Mr Hook turned the corner onto Sheriff Street, just in time to see Miss Reidy, the new teacher, dismount from her bicycle, a shiny red Raleigh in the Dutch style, and head into the sweet shop. She was in her mid 20s and had started teaching the fourth class in the boys primary school last September, fresh from teacher training college.
Her black leather saddle shone like an old fashioned constable’s boots. There was no one else on the street. It was a warm summer morning, and Miss Reidy had only been wearing a light rayon skirt. But what if he was caught? The boys went to that school, it would surely come back to Ingrid and then he’d be out on his ear again.
If Mr Hook was quick he would have just enough time. He looked left and right, and as he drew level with the bicycle, dropped his head and took a long, deep inhalation of her sharp, rich scent.
He closed his eyes to savour the aroma and rose slowly to find his way blocked by the figure of Miss Reidy, a waxed paper packet of bullseyes in her hand.
“My, my, you are a dirty boy” she intoned slowly, raising an eyebrow and popping a bullseye between her cherry red lips, “who would have thought we had a naughty little saddle sniffer in town”.

Saddle Sniffer

Bike riding enthusiast that’s lacking the social skills to interact in regularly re-occuring typical scenarios with whatever sex they are attracted to. They lack regular reasonable female interaction on a day to day basis in life. Any time a female shows up to a group cycling event, the saddle sniffer is immediately right behind them for the entire ride. He takes extreme advantage of every second the female has joined the group ride. He is offering to adjust the bike for the woman, bragging about his ability to assist with any and all types of anything the woman may need on the bike ride, warning her of anything on the trail or road ahead of them.. Offering to take her on a “private tour” of whatever area the group is riding after the main group ride... Just all in all, hes up that womans ass for the entire bike ride.. almost to the point of creeping the woman out so that they never want to show up to a group bike ride again. One of the main reasons for women only exclusive bike clubs ( because they don’t want to be around such male douches ) and one of the reasons that most group bike rides are nearly completely male dominated.

“Bob was being such a saddle sniffer towards on that one chick ass all night on the ride, dam, you’ve got to know hes not getting any at home”

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