Scuba Phone

A mobile phone conversation where it sounds like the person calling you is speaking to you while under water. This can be caused by several factors:

1. The caller has a crappy phone.

2. Their carrier compresses the signal so it is the same quality as an 8 k/bit MP3.

3. The person calling you has fallen off a cruise ship and is phoning for help as they are drowning.

4. You are being called by a ventriloquist who is practising his stage routine with a glass of water.

Either way, it's really annoying and you will only get about 1 word in three of what they are saying. Afterwards, when they see you next, it will all be YOUR fault as you weren't listening!

Husband: Oh my God, look at the place! I told you to clean the front room as I was bringing the Boss back for dinner!

Wife: No, what you said was "Blurbledearblurble, blurble crackle blurble Dinner." How many times have I told you to call me on the land line and not use that sodding scuba phone!?