Secretary of Offense

The new name for the Secretary of Defense. Apparently, the best defense is now a good offense. The United States attacks and invades nations if they feel it might benefit them in any way. This, in turn, has led to more support in the Middle East for their Secretary of Offense: Al Qaeda.

Ron Paul: "Extremists don't attack us because we are rich and free. They attack us because we have been OVER THERE!"

You can thank our Secretary of Offense for that!

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Secretary of Offense

Position that would replace Secretary of Defense were Jesse Ventura to be President.

Jesse Ventura: I'm not going to have no wimpy Secretary of Defense. *I'm* going to have a Secretary of Offense, in the Department of Kicking Butt.

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