shart infested waters

A public pool, or any small, manmade enclosed body of water really (i.e., wave pools, hotel pools, country club pools, jacuzzis) in which a high concentration of kids or drunk peoples might cause one or more sharts to attack otherwise innocent swimmers. Upon observation of such potential threat, a hummed Jaws theme may follow...

Slow thinking dude post-cannonball into the pool: Hey babe, jump in the pool! The water feels great!

Realistic chick noticing the 500 kids splashing around in the country club pool about an hour after finishing their chili dogs for a bday pool party: No way! Those are shart infested waters...I'm not going in there! Shart,Shart net