shit in my hands and clap

Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .

Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.

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Shit In My Hands and Clap

A way of objectifying to or expressing utter dislike for something.

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than vote for Donald Trump.

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I would rather shit on my hands and clap

When someone would like you to go, do or attend something you rather wouldn't.

Friend: hey do you wanna go for a Nandos?
Me: I would rather shit on my hands and clap.