shit whisk

A complete and utter moron, oblivious to even the most obvious common sense realities.

dude, Ricky is such a shit whisk, he couldn't even do one plus one!

Shit whisking

Taking a bad situation and making something good out of it

John: I heard your flight was delayed.

Steven: Yeah, three hours, but I did some shit whisking and I ended up banging four broads