SHITCON 1

The severe, burning urge to shit your pants, usually an individual at SHITCON 1 breaks into a cold sweat and has severe anxiety. May be preceded by an expulsion of hot flatus (fart), which often causes the seepage of stool. Often occurs in traffic; during exams; in long lines for one toilet; after spicy food; and at filthy, festering, God-awful toilets which require one to suspend oneself over the toilet, despite the risk of shitting all over your pants. Also, a common phenomenon in babies when you are out and forget to bring extra diapers. These times are especially bad when you have eaten the same thing as your child and hit SHITCON 1 yourself!

1. While taking my final exams, I developed severe cramping abdominal pain, sweating, and anxiety when I hit SHITCON 1. I had to run out of the room, identifying myself as the one who let a hot, juicy fart loose. 2. "SHITCON 1 has been reached, please clear out of the public restroom, while I scream in pain, as a liter of hot liquid stool explodes from my ass."

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