Short North

It's a district in Columbus,Ohio that is a bit south of OSU's main campus and north of the Convention Center. It's full of small galleries, specialty shops, and bars. A pretty nice place but obviously our desperate attempt to be "chic" and "metropolitan".

The first Saturday of each month there is Gallery Hop. It's not anything especially organized. Basically what you do is "hop" from gallery to gallery. Supposedly you look at the art but you really do it to dine on the fine (read "free") food. It's also a great place to see and be seen. Lots of opportunities to be propositioned by drunkards or have your ensemble be silently criticized by gay people or people who work in the stores.

Common sights:
Ridiculously overpriced thrift stores that call their clothes "Vintage" and "Experienced"
Political activists (Hillary supporters across the street from Obama supporters)
Scantily-clad transvestites.
Dogs.
Petitioners.
Restaurants that are described as being
"fusion" "vegetarian" "poetic" and "pan-Asian".
Coffee out the wazoo.
Middle-eastern-themed gift shops
Local bands playing in alleys.
smaller local bands blocking the sidewalk and playing "folk music"
Ikea

Highlights include:
Jeni's (an expensive but delicious ice cream shop)
Phillip's Coney Island (a nice, simple diner. Would be awesome if it weren't the token diner).
A Hookah bar.
The Full Monty (guys dance in the windows).
Posh Pets.

Types of people that go to the short north:
Yuppies
People from Bexley
People from Clintonville
OSU Professional or Grad students
Middle Schoolers
Middle-aged people
Metrosexuals
Heterosexuals
Homosexuals
Bisexuals
Asexuals
"Artistes"
People from the local news
People from radio stations
Anyone and everyone who wants free samples.

People who would never go there save to get free stuff:
homophobes
sane people
conservative people (who probably went once and still talk about the lesbian couple they saw making out in front of the record store.)

Words that can be associated with the Short North:
Art, Poetic, European, Asian, Metropolitan, Urban, Cool, Cutting-edge, posh, Lively, scene, night, Young, antique, vintage, unique, salon, wine, fine, gourmet, chic, organic, bottled water, gay, fashion

There is a Segway dealer in the Short North. Need I say more?

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SHORT NORTH

A mile-long strip in Columbus, Ohio where trendy people (homosexuals and metrosexuals) like to show-off their money.

Hey sis, let's go to the Short North so we can look at the art (metrosexual men). Look at the people who are watching others look at their Bentleys, Rolls, and Mercedes.

18👍 7👎