straight from the apes ass

Straight from the apes ass... is when you are referring to absolute useless and pathetic nonsense related comment or saying (typically a comment or opinion made by an ex spouse)

Bradley(the ex): I'm ahhh gonna pick up my son I forgot to get the past 6 months every other weekend... ahhhh ahhh (giggle) cause I wanna take him camping for a weekend since I can't take him home to my house because my (new) wife won't let me bring him back.

Friend telling the ex: your ex husband is going to pick up his kid in a few weeks.

Ex wife: where did you hear lie...lol?
Friend: straight from the apes ass!