Stripper Lotion

Lotion, usually sold in bulk of 55 gallons or more to be installed in the preparation areas of mid to low class strip clubs. This lotion has a much higher concentration of perfume than standard lotion to mask the natural smell of the unwashed harlot and will also include glitter flakes which are invisible to all except a married woman. This glitter will glue itself to a man's beard because of sadness built into the lotion, making it impossible to remove.

John thought he was going to pull off a night at the strip club with friends but his wife busted him. She thought she noticed the smell of stripper lotion on him when he came home. It became all too obvious that he had come in contact with stripper lotion when she saw the faint pastel green fleck of stripper lotion glitter in his beard.