Asshole was sucking buttermilk

Can be a noun and verb bass upon context.
The act of your asshole uncontrollably quivering to hold back an explosive, juicy, wet, diarrhea-filled colon. The reason it is quivering is usually from extreme beer drinking and not wanting to hit the bathroom until the last minute. Or, when you first get up in the morning and you just have to hold the quivering back until you just can’t wait any longer.

Man, that chick at the party was hot. We had several rounds of beer and our conversations we going great but I had to break away to hit the bathroom because my asshole was sucking buttermilk and I just could not hold it any longer!

Your ass sucks buttermilk

"Your ass sucks buttermilk" is a phrase said in events of disbelief. Used in the same context as "bullshit!" or "no way!" when someone hears something incredible or unbelievable.

Ray: Hey Rog, guess what happened this morning at the coffee shop.
Roger: What?
Ray: Apparently John's wife found out he was cheating on her ass, and drove her car through the wall this morning while we were sitting in there.
Roger: Your ass sucks buttermilk!

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Sucking buttermilk

When you have to use #2 (take a shit) so bad that your asshole quivers uncontrollably as you green apple quick step to the bathroom.

Me: Man, I almost did not make it to the restroom!
Friend: why you say that?
Me: my asshole was sucking buttermilk as I rushed to get to the “throne”!