suffering backwards

This is used to describe an extreme level of suffering and going through it, only you start out living a good life but as you get older you only decline and are heading to rock bottom.

Lisa " I cannot believe I used to drive a jaguar and have all the money I wanted and more."

Kelley "but John told me he saw your bank account and you had 39,999 dollars just sitting in the bank?" What's up with this grief show?

Lisa " I promise you that I am just over losing everything. I am definitely suffering backwards"

Kelley "...and back again" bless your heart.