super quantum unit intel processor

A Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor, or, SQUIP, is from Japan. It’s a grey oblong pill, quantum nanotechnology CPU. The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do. It’s preprogrammed, it’s amazing, speaks to you directly. You behave as it’s appraising, helps you act correctly. It helps you to be cool. It helps you rule...

“Hey, Jeremy, you need a Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.”
“So...drugs?”
“It’s better than drugs. IT’S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAN!”