synlapse

Short for synapse lapse. In a phone call or voice-mail from the Ding, the lapse in time between "Hello" and the point at which the actual message begins. A synlapse is signalled by a drawn-out um.

The length of a synlapse depends on the complexity of the message, which determines how long it will take the Ding's electron-size brain to fit the information together coherently enough to convey it.

The average length of a synlapse is 45 seconds, during which boredom-induced drooling may commence in the unfortunate recipient of the voice-mail.

The message the Ding left for Zeke lasted two and a half minutes, two minutes of which consisted of a particularly mind-numbing synlapse.