the Cosmic Turd

– noun
A particularly solid (or frozen) piece of excrement, used as a makeshift dildo.

- verb phrase
To {perform} the Cosmic Turd; the act of using a Cosmic Turd as a make-shift dildo, with the intention of stimulating the recipient to climax before it becomes uselessly flaccid.

I couldn't get wood, so I had to slip her the Cosmic Turd...

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