The Dakota War

Taken place on the fortnight of February 26th, 1987, Captain Schlurnt and the men of the North Dakotan Army stormed into South Dakota in order to combine the Dakotas into one. The South Dakotan Militia vehemently opposed such a ordeal, leading Major Blunkus of the SDM to prepare defenses in the case of an invasion. Blunkus and his men killed at least 14 North Dakotans, essentially eradicating half the population of North Dakota in a matter of minutes. In light of this devastating loss, the Treaty of Barren Wastelands was signed the next day, keeping North and South Dakota separate for at least the next 41 years.

Normal USA man: Who is in the picture on your mantle?

South Dakotan: Oh, that’d be the Mighty Major Blunkus, who repelled the savage North Dakotans during the Dakota War on the fortnight of February 26th, 1987.