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The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.
Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!
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The act of surgically attaching an 8+ inch male Homo Sapien penis to a monkey, (preferably a chimpanzee) and then dubbing said monkey a "Penis Monkey".
Did you hear about the Zoo's new attraction? It's a Penis Monkey!
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A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:
-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
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-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility
Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.
A magical monkey-like creature that sits on your pubic hair.
"Marcus says he has 7 penis monkeys."
"Well then he must have A LOT of pubic hair to hold them up"
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Your a real penis monkey, that is to say you like the dong
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A monkey Who will steal your penis and force feed you it
Person 1: the penis monkey went into my room last night person 2: how did the penis taste? Person 1: surprisingly good
(a) Hard to define, the word stems from the original idea that John Bauman is the one and only important person in the entire world. The word can be used in pretty much any situation for any reason...however, everytime someone uses the word, it does nothing but reflect on the true nature that John Bauman is untouchable.
(b) A hit song by John Bauman.
(c) The penis on a monkey.
John: Mark, what are you doing today?
Mark: I don't know.
John: Clyde's sucks.
Mark: I know. Jackie is a cocktease.
John: The queen. <shaking head>
(pause)
Mark: *cough...cough* PENIS MONKEY.
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