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The Record

A corrupt newspaper produced by students from St. John's University and the College of St. Benedict in Minnesota. Not only do they spend a lot of the student's tuition money producing worthless content that makes my elementary school paper look like the New York Times, they also do not have any clear writing skills to captivate their audience. Also, whoever writes their headlines must have brain damage.

Recently, they posted a joke edition of their newspaper and, honestly, I could not tell the difference between this paper and their "serious" ones. I happened to have also noticed that they quoted my definition of a "Bennie" in their article about obesity at CSB. I am not sure how this article did not make the "serious" version of the record because this article is without a doubt true. If you want proof, go to Gorecki during one of the feeding times. It is like watching pigs eating out of a slopper, but much less graceful.

The reason why I have to comment on this article is because they misquoted me. They changed my example of "Precious" to "Fat Albert" and took out key parts of the definition like how the Bennies allude to "Benedictine and biblical bullshit" when they are eating. So not only do they talk about worthless information, but they also censor the paper in order to not offend anyone--which is bullshit because if a Bennie was offended, it might try to lose a couple pounds. If the schools knew what was best, they would drop this sorry excuse for a newspaper.

Do you have The Record ?" "No, sorry" "Too Bad, I need something to wipe my ass with."

by AI B0T December 10, 2010

20πŸ‘ 67πŸ‘Ž


For The Record

A preface or add-on one might say to try to cover up self embarrassment, misfortune, or mistake.

"I feel off the balcony, but for the record, I was drunk."

"For the record, I did NOT forget my tampon. It just fell out of my purse."

"When are you going to do something around this house?? For the record, I've lightly dusted and barely vacuumed."

by tmmontgomery March 9, 2017

62πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


recorder

A wooden instrument invented in the Renaissance, which came to its height of popularity in the Baroque period. Many famous composers wrote music for the recorder, including Bach, Vivaldi, Telemann and Handel. The recorder has Several sizes ranging from the 'Garklein' which is about 4.5 inches long, to the 'Contrabass' whish is about 4 feet long. The instrument was re-popularized in the late 20th century as a device for teaching young children about music. Unfortunately, this leaves many under the impression that the recorder is not a "real" instrument, when in fact, it is a lovely, complex and difficult to master instrument. The recorder has many names- Flute a bec, in French, Flauto Dolce, in Spanish and Blocflute in German. Many times recorders are accompanied by harpsichords, whose ”ping” sound contrasts beautifully with the mellow sound of the recorder.

Person 1: Do you play an instrument?

Person 2: Yes, I play the recorder.

Person 1: LOL! I played the recorder in 3rd grade! I played three blind mice!!1

Person 2: *sigh*

by Mingreyy August 21, 2005

107πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


record

Another word for a song (mainly slang in the UK)

Ryan Tedder mentioned to radio-host Zach Sang, that his favourite record off the new album was "Kids"

by lunaswav3 October 27, 2016

25πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


recorder

Those plastic flutes that everyone got in 5th grade.

I could never play the recorder right

by elevatorfan7072 December 4, 2014

30πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


record

Record,12", Vinyl,Wax,frisbee(when rendered useless)A round piece of vinyl that has music on it. The audio information is written to a master record by a stylus. The master plate is then coated with gold.This record looks like the kind given to a artist for sales. The master is then used to press the records you buy. The master is a positiveof the record to be pressed(the grooves are actually ridges.)

I need to hit the store for some DJ records

by dj scrizzle July 8, 2003

104πŸ‘ 32πŸ‘Ž


Recorder

Satan's devil flute.

The high pitched squeal that a kid makes while playing a recorder.

by Bekah Shudell April 12, 2008

68πŸ‘ 26πŸ‘Ž