Random
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Random
First the man grows out a huge bush. 70's style, so if standing on your head it would look like a hasidic jew "beard/nose" combo.
Then you shave it off and place it in a ziploc bag keeping it in close proximity to the next location of sexual promiscuity.
So the next time you're barebacking a chick from behind pull out just in time to unleash your jizzum all over the female buttocks.
Quickly grab the ziploc and dump contents all over said jizzum. wipe it in nice and good then jump on her back with enough forward momentum that your propelled off the bed on your makeshift flying broom (nimbus 2000)
Spencer: Why is your girlfriend so mad?
Kevin: She found out she sucks at flying.
Spencer: Airplanes????
Kevin: Nah, I gave her The Harry Potter and her ass barely cleared my dresser.
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The Harry Potter (n. & v.):
Occurs when, during a three-some, a female is jacking off a male. Right before he's ready to culminate, she yells "Alakazam," quickly turns the cock and, in a wand-like motion, yanks it so it blows all over the third member.
I got squirted in the face by the Harry Potter last night.
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When you're doing a girl, have a friend hide in a closet. Then, when you finish, he jumps out and yells "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!!!"
Optional: Friend dresses in formal wizard attire.
Friend 1 : I heard about your girlfriend. Why'd you break up?
Friend 2 : We tried The Harry Potter, but she was a fucking muggle.
Friend 1 : Bummer.
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A man jerks off and then, using the semen that has accumulated on the tip of his dick, draws a lightning bolt on his partner's forehead.
After which he kills the recipient's parents, or next of kin.
Dude I gave that slut Jessica The Harry Potter, she is gonna be pissed when she finds out her parents are dead.
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The only reason I have not yet gone insane.
Person: You like Harry Potter?
Me: Always.
If you have read/watched these, you will know what I mean.
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Harry Potter is a best-selling book series by critically acclaimed author J.K Rowling. Though many view the Harry Potter series as a "children's series", it goes for all ages.
450 million Harry Potter books have been sold worldwide.
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QUITE POSSIBLY THE GREATEST SERIES OF BOOKS OF ALL TIME
Idiot: dude Harry Potter sux
Sensible human: I say, you seem highly uneducated my dear chum.
Idiot: I'm gonna get drunk and drive home with my shot gun
578👍 89👎