Theoretical Physicist

Contrary to the other definition, a theoretical physicist is actually a masochist who spends years trying to figure out some shit that mankind won't find useful until long after he's dead. More likely though, he will be left as a fleeting memory in the minds of apathetic and high high school students.

Student 1: duude. relativity n shit is weird as fuck. i dont know who made it, porbably some theoretical physicist
Student 2: I think it was Newton

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theoretical physicist

A sadist who creates impossible equations for experimenters to solve

Theoretical physicists are the one guy in the office who makes an impossible deadline for an impossible task.

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