Things I think while I shit

Shit shart. Shitilly shart. Shit shoot shitilly shart. Shartilly shit shoot. Shootilly shit shat... Shart... I wish I could optimize my shit texture... I'd have to be some kind of weird dork to live like that though... "Hey, Hym. Why do you only eat gummy bears?" "Oh, yeah. Because it keeps my shit both dry and moist enough to minimize the amount of wiping I have to do" They'd think I was insane... Until they tried it... Then they would realize I'm the greatest mind the world has ever seen....

Hym "I don't actually only eat gummy bears but there is an optimal texture and if I could only find it... I would never have to wipe again! But these are the things I think while I shit."