top shelf cheddar

The most rare form of cheddar in the world. Cheddar only forged in highest and most remote parts of the Appalachian Mountains. The cheddar must be cured for up to 10 years at a minimum and can only be harvested and extracted for its rich flavors when a player in the NHL scores a goal Upper 90/Top Shelf/Upper Benjamin's.

I want the good stuff, that top shelf cheddar, none of this shit for concentrate.