Torpedo Snake

Torpedo snake; When u gotta go to the bathroom really bad.
Instead of saying "Excuse me sir, may I use toilet?"
You would say "Move bitch, I got a fucking torpedo snake!!"

(Family gathered for dinner sitting around a table)
Jim:"Mum, may I use bathroom please?"
Mum:"For fucks sake, Jim. This will be your second time!"
Jim:"Excuse me for having a torpedo snake!"
Mum:"Well atleast if you unload some shit you can finally fit through to kitchen door without being mashed. U fucking fat piece of shit."
Jim:" Damn mum, Maybe you have a torpedo snake too?"